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The space between.

Back up.  Just back the fuck up.  This is my side of the desk.  This is my chair.  This is my space.  Back the fuck up.  Fucking leprechaun.

There are two sides to this desk.  This is my side.  My side includes my drawers,  my chair,  my monitor,  my pencil holder,  my keyboard,  my tape dispenser,  my telephone,  my stapler,  my coffee cup,  and my stack of unorganized paperwork.  Interesting, isn't it?  Everything on my side of the desk is mine.

Let's take a quick look at your side of this desk.  It's very simple.  There is a chair.  We in the business call it a guest chair.  It's for guests.  When you are at my desk, you are a guest.  You're an unwelcome guest.   You are an annoying, repulsive, unwelcome guest with a really annoying accent.   You're a poorly dressed, red-headed, Swedish dwarf.  A whiny, annoying, space invading freak with a Nordic accent and not much on the ball.    Had you a brain in that enormous fucking head of yours, you'd ask your stupid questions from a safe distance.  Think inter-office mail.   Think carrier pigeon.  Anything.  Just stay out of my personal space.  Seriously. 

Step behind my desk once more and I'll stab you with this letter opener, you fucking Norse Irish midget.  I'm serious. 

You fucking betcha.

Posted on Tuesday, August 2, 2005 at 12:15PM by Registered CommenterJon Jackson in , | Comments2 Comments | References2 References

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References (2)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Response: Invading His Aura
    at Nashville Is Talking on August 2, 2005
    Jon Jackson is slightly touchy about his personal space. Seriously, stay on your side of his desk. I doubt Jon Jackson puts out a candy dish....
  • Response
    Response: Refinancing
    at Refinancing on February 7, 2006
    Refinancing

Reader Comments (2)

I've found that pissing in the corners of my cubicle lets my coworkers know the boundaries of my territory. Scratching the hell out of the furniture and the fabric wall reinforces the message.

Great post; I'm laughing my ass off. In MY cubicle.

August 2, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterCindy
Jon, your posts make me remember how lucky I am to be in a company with civilized people. They respect one's space for the most part, but what pisses me off is my too-open office area where others can see my monitor. How the hell am I supposed to surf and write in such an environment?

Guess this means I don't have a cubicle to piss in.
August 2, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

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